Primal Instinct
by Light of the Dawn
Summary: With Katie off on a date with the boy they were both crushing on, Sadie is left to wonder why it was Katie and not herself who got the guy. But Harold comes to save the day with some reassuring words for Sadie. Harold/Sadie Hadie oneshot.


**Why yes, I do adore this pairing.**

**I don't own Total Drama.**

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She'd never felt so betrayed in her life. Katie had gone and asked Trent out, all on her own! She totally knew that Sadie had a crush on him too! How could her best friend do such a thing to her? And why?

And Sadie had been quite sure that Trent had had a crush on her too. It was a dually devastating blow – to have her best friend steal her crush and to realize that her feelings were totally not mutual.

"Hey Sadie." A male voice greeted her as she sulked on the poolside.

"Hi Harold." Sadie responded, not even trying to mask how bummed-out she was feeling.

"What's the matter?" Harold asked as he sat down beside her.

"Trent likes Katie!" Sadie told him.

"That's a bad thing?" Harold asked, puzzled by the reason she'd given for being so upset.

"It totally is!" Sadie told him, turning to face him. "She's my BFFFL and she knows I like Trent! But she's going out with him anyway! That is totally not what a BFFFL should do! I thought the agreement was that if we both like the same guy, neither of us can date him!" Then her voice turned cold. "But _apparently_ I was wrong."

"Oh, that's a bummer." Harold said with a nod. "Kind of like how I thought Alejandro had my back, but then he went and stole my girl."

Sadie didn't acknowledge that she had heard. "Maybe it's because I'm fat!"

"What is?"

"The reason that Trent doesn't like me! Maybe he thinks I'm fat and ugly!" And with that, Sadie burst into tears.

"Really?" Harold asked, once again appearing puzzled by the source of the dark-haired girl's lament. Patting her shoulder as though to comfort her, he spoke again. "I would have thought your full-figure would have made you the obvious choice."

"What do you mean?" Sadie asked, wiping a tear away from her cheek. "Trent doesn't want to date a fat girl like me. Nobody does."

And with that statement in the air, Sadie began to cry again, this time more loudly.

"Actually, I think you're more attractive than Katie." Harold stated, putting a finger on his chin as though thinking.

Sadie fell silent mid-sob. Then she shook her head and began to cry again. "No you don't. You're just saying that to make me feel better. How could anyone possibly think _I'm_ attractive? Sadie – the butt of everyone's fat jokes. Sadie, _the elephant._ Sadie, _the blimp. _Sadie, _the girl whose butt is too big to fit into the bus seats._"

"I think your full figure is one of your best qualities." Harold said.

Sadie, taking this statement the wrong way, only sobbed louder. "Oh great, being fat is my best quality!"

"I didn't mean that as an insult." Harold said. "On the contrary, I meant it as a compliment."

"How is telling me I'm fat supposed to be a compliment?" Sadie asked, glaring at Harold.

"In ancient Greece and ancient Rome, the bigger the woman was, the more attractive she was. Haven't you ever noticed that the statues from Grecian and Roman times are built more like you and Leshawna than Gwen and Heather?" Harold explained. "If we lived in ancient times, I bet every artist would want to make a statue of you and your awesome curves."

"Are you sure?" Sadie asked, not believing the nerd.

"Positive. Wider hips suggest easier childbearing, and therefore a higher chance of survival."

Sadie looked somewhat uncomfortable. "So you're saying I'm more attractive because you think I'll be better at having babies than Katie?"

"It's not my _personal_ opinion." Harold said. "It's a scientific fact that men have evolved to be attracted to women whose physical traits are most likely to guarantee success when he wants to spread his genetic material through reproduction, and that comes in the form of women with wide hips. It's primal instinct."

Sadie couldn't help but smile at Harold's history lesson. "Thanks for making me feel better, Harold."

"No problem." Harold said with a nod. "I'm kind of like a superhero sometimes."

Sadie giggled at this statement. "Yeah. You're the unstoppable _Knowledge-Man_."

"That is so awesome!" Harold said, nodding his approval at Sadie's choice of a superhero name for him.

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